Ed Brainstorm

Not a hooker!

E.Maeve Deveau — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 18:35:58 +0000

So I just walked to the store around the corner and had an exciting encounter with the scummy wildlife of Bartlett St. Keep in mind that walking to the store alone is not something to dress up for because it’s good to avoid being confused as a hooker. So I had my good ol’ baggy black hoodie and flip flops on, assuming that I would not come across “hooker”. Assumption incorrect.
This creepy old dude in a weird junkie pickup tried to pick me up using the preferred pick-up line “Do you need a ride?”-to which I appropriately responded with a definite “No.” Usually the creeps drive away when rejected- but not this one. Stubborn stubborn stubborn. He kept gesturing for me to go over to his creepmobile and telling me to “come on, come on!” I was extremely unimpressed, and in all the glory of high class, I yelled that “I’m not a f***ing hooker a**hole!” To punctuate my serious annoyance at his hardcore blockheadedness, I glanced meaningfully at the cruiser coming around the corner.
He got the picture and moved on to the next ladies down the street. As I was walking off I heard them yell for him to “Keep driving, creeper!”
Seriously people. What happened to classy?

Don’t trust Pizza Hut.

E.Maeve Deveau — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 22:01:52 +0000

So I didn’t post yesterday because I forgot due to all the excitement and adventures. But as expected, Bartlett St. was the classiest place in town in the middle of the night.
Pizza delivery drivers frequent Bartlett St., and the police frequent Bartlett St., but police disguised as Pizza Hut delivery drivers is totally NOT normal and very unsettling. The Pizza Hut car was sitting on the street outside of the next door neighbors house for about an hour looking very creepy and suspicious somewhere around 1:30 in the morning. Eventually, two squad cars pulled up, and I thought the Pizza Hut dude was being busted but no! He was apparently some undercover cop dude and was spying on the neighbors empty building. I have no clue why, and I’m sure they didn’t want bacon on their pizzas.
The police ended up going into the building with their flashlights and rubber gloves, looking for something mysterious and probably illegal on the 2nd floor. It took a long time for them to go away… Perhaps they found what they were looking for. I doubt it though. Sneaky creatures live on this street.

There was also this guy yelling as loud as he could at a loud car at around 3 in the morning. He was shouting about all the children that were trying to sleep. I’m pretty sure he woke the whole neighborhood up. Dumb dumb.

Moral of the story: Don’t order Pizza Hut delivery, don’t yell like a hypocrite, and always, ALWAYS keep it classy

Crime: Nice try.

E.Maeve Deveau — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 03:39:06 +0000

So as illegal as prostitution is, it still happens. Or… People attempt it.
Within the past two weeks the same hooker has been turned down twice, and I’m pretty sure I don’t feel bad for her. Get a job, seriously.
So anyway.
The first time, she was walking down the other side of the street and a car (going the opposite direction) sort of slowed down near her. I interpreted this as some people that were lost and looking at building numbers. She thought it was a job, and turned around, making a beeline to the passenger side door. The car obviously sped up and she turned around on her heel, walking away all casual-like as if nothing happened. She was in the middle of the road at that point so the nonchalance was totally ineffective and hilarious.
The second time was today, and she almost succeeded. I didn’t see this happen, my roommate and her friend did. Apparently it was pretty much the same situation, but this time she got as far as the window, where she had a talk with the driver and was turned down. He drove off. I guess her prices were too high or something.

Another failed crime happened within the small community of my building. If you can call it that… Our neighbors don’t like us very much… Which must be why they tried to steal our trashcans.
Apparently they complained about our lack of trashcans for the street. So we got two. The same night we got them, before we even got our trash into them, the neighbors jacked them. I found our trashcans on the street with all of THEIR trash. The nerve. We dumped their trash out (obviously) and painted the cans so that it is perfectly clear who owns them. The neighbors haven’t touched them since. Jerks.

The lesson we learn is that crime rarely works so you shouldn’t even try and it’s really best to keep it classy

The pregnant lady with a hatchet. This is a true story.

E.Maeve Deveau — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 01:44:47 +0000

This happened about three weeks ago, and six of my friends witnessed it as well… So I’m not joking. This happened.
It was around one in the morning, and we were all going up to bed (Note: Our room is on the third floor.) when we heard yelling. (Note: Our windows were closed.) Very, very loud, angry yelling. Loud enough to rouse my roommate from a dead sleep. (Note: His room is on the third floor too, and his windows were closed.) Obviously, we all flocked to the windows and lo and behold! A prenant lady with a hatchet chasing a guy down the road. Right in front of my apartment. Naturally I opened the window a little to hear better, and from what I gather, the argument had to do with her baby. Regardless, running theories are that he forgot the mustard, was too loud to be allowed inside, or that he was just a jerk sleazeball. The hatchet may have been overkill… But who am I to judge?
As it turns out, someone was smart enough to call the police to resolve the situation. Eventually, two squad cars arrived with annoying blue lights to keep the peace and contain the characters. Things became quiet again and I lost interest… But we learned something important.
What we learned on that night was a lesson you should always remember: Never give a pregnant lady a hatchet, and of course, keep it classy

A whole new blog!

E.Maeve Deveau — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 00:24:40 +0000

Welcome welcome to the new blog! Since I haven’t been keeping up with the old blog, I decided to change it up completely to something that’s actually interesting. I wanted a blog full of awkward, hilarious and sometimes sorta scary stories that would entertain everyone, but couldn’t think of a source to get these stories from… until I looked out the window. The colorful characters roaming Bartlett St. and the surrounding neighborhood are a never ending source of entertainment, and it’s a no-brainer to share the crazy things I see everyday.
For a little more background on the idea, Bartlett St. is notoriously known as the “bad street” in the neighborhood. It’s full of people that live mostly off the state, drugs, laziness and fast food. (For the record, there are many people that don’t fall into any of those categories, but they aren’t interesting so I won’t talk about them much.) According to my mom, who read a report somewhere, this area also has one of the highest percentages of people without vehicles in the country. That means that all of those savory creatures of Bartlett St. are out there at all hours of the day and night making a ruckus and keeping it as classy as a zoo.
So I hope you enjoy the new blog, and remember, keep it classy
-ed